Favorite Things

So I needed to do an entry for this blog. I have been ignoring it like a ginger-headed stepchild - which is a little ridiculous for me to say because I would probably love a ginger stepchild. I've been busy, wrapped up in school, work and life, so it wasn't intentional ignoring, but I digress. I borrowed a list of 30 things to blog about in 30 days (I will totally take longer) from a friend who'd posted it on her blog a while back (thanks Jo and Dawn).  First up I'm listing 20 of my favorite things... no roses or kittens here folks.

1. My friends - My best friends especially (you know who you are). They are such very special and amazing individuals. I'm really lucky to have them in my life. You guys rock! And honestly, you're why I can make it through the bad days.
2. My mom - Best ever! The most understanding, generous, loving person I know.
3. Hugs/Cuddling - Hello. My name is Kris and I'm a cuddle slut. But I have to be pretty comfortable with someone before I get touchy with them, otherwise I'll cringe away.
4. Otters - They are adorable, frolicky, amazingly smart and tough. If I could choose so, I'd be reincarnated as one in my next life.
5. Pretty knickers - There is something about wearing a fun/fancy/sexy pair of knickers that makes me feel even prettier. Even if it's a basic cotton hipster/boyshort (my preferred style) in a really fun pattern, it's a special part of the ensemble that only I know about...well, unless I choose to let someone see 'em. Shopping for them is fun too.
6. Cooking/Baking - Whether it's from scratch, from a box, or dough from a tube, I dig cookery. It's fun, it can be challenging, I can get all creative and experimental with it and it's science (<3 Alton Brown)! Plus, the result is always tasty... unless you fuck up your sugar for salt or something, which I have never done *knock on wood*
7. Lime - Whether it's limeade (waaaaay better than lemonade), key lime pie, freshly squirted over some chicken or fish or making margaritas, it just has such a fresh and lively flavor that is unparalleled. It's the top dog of citrus.
8. My six-shooter earring - I always get a compliment when I wear them. Since they are studs I can wear them casually or add some edge to an otherwise classy/dressy ensemble. Definitely one of the top ten best birthday presents I've received in my 28 years.
9. The smell of craft/art supply stores - A motley aroma of wood, paints, glues, fabric, pastels... it's the smell of potential magic, waiting to be harnessed and manipulated into something awesome. My grandfather owned his own art & drafting supply business when I was younger; I loved the special days I got to go in to work with mom.
10. Buttons/Pins - These little suckers are irresistible. I have quite a nice collection going. They are a small and fun way to say something, show support or just your fun side.  I wish I could afford the tools to make my own, that'd be awesome. In the meantime I need to build an awesome way to display my collection. That goes ditto to my shot-glass collection; not quite as large, but equally cool.
11. Cake balls - My friend D turned me onto this recipe and I haven't looked back since.  It's cake, mixed with frosting, formed into a bite-sized ball and dipped in candy coating. They are a sweet explosions of AWESOME in your mouth! Also, it turns out I kinda rock at makin' 'em, so now I'm formulating new things to try with them.
12. The smell of Gardenias - Generally speaking, I hate perfumes. I use scented oils instead; there's no alcohol, no allergens and all that crap. Gardenia is one of the few I can rely on liking.
13. Books - "The pen is mightier than the sword." Books can inspire, enchant, motivate, educate, frighten, empower. They can take you to lands faraway or around the corner, empathize with or at least understand viewpoints previously foreign to you, make you feel emotions you didn't know you were capable of... Books are a special kind of magic. 10a. I love the smell of books and book stores.
14. Movies - Similar to books, movies are another kind of wizardry. They can do all the things I listed above, but through a different medium, a visual one, that is equally fantastic. However I do not like the smell of movie stores or theaters.
15. Pineapple - Nature's candy! I could eat this shit all day. I also enjoy cutting up fresh pineapple, not quite sure why...
16. Crafting - I like creating things, the contentment that comes when finishing a project. Painting, gluing, jewelry making, paper crafting, sewing, X-stitching... I have yet to pick up crocheting though.
17. Ice cream/gelato/sorbet - Whatever the name this cold, smooth, scoop of delicious wonderment has long been a favorite of mine. Forget a candy store, my eyes grow wide when I walk into a creamery. Flavor favorites include coffee, rocky road, cookies & cream, Ring Mountain's lime jalapeno sorbet and salted peanut gelato (not together though), Ben & Jerry's S'mores and Americone Dream... yeah, I'll just stop here.
18. My new wallet - I bought it shortly before my Vegas trip and am in love with it. It's has the perfect amount of pockets and folds out beautifully. It's big enough that I could carry just it around like a clutch without being all bulky and awkward. Also, it's by Vera Wang who, for some reason, is a fashion designer I've always admired.  Lastly it is a gorgeous dark green color with tarnished brass snap and logo detail, chic with a bit of edge; love it.
19. Cursing - This one should really be called linguistic/etymology, but anyone who knows me knows that I love to swear like a sailor. The more balls-out creative and mind-fuckingly outrageous the better.
20. Coconut - This tasty fruit has such a unique texture and flavor. It can be made sweet or savory - ice cream, baked goods, coating shrimp/chicken, toasted and coated with chocolate, etc). On a trip to Duluth, my friends and I went to a great little cafe/restaurant that made a coconut peach muffin; that thing sexually harassed my mouth and I loved it! As an added benefit, coconut is one thing I'm positive my dad hates, thereby ensuring anything I get with it will go untouched, mwa ha ha!
21. Dogs - Fuck rules, I'm making this thing longer. I've long lived in apartments and thereby been limited to my pet options. I've done fish, rodents and cats. No more; I want a dog. They are adorable, loveable companions that are waaay more fun to play with that cats (I'm all felined out). I obviously have to wait for my living and financial situations to improve, but in the meantime I have a number of friends with awesome pups that I love to lavish my affection upon.
22. Wing Night/Free Taco Bar - There's a joint named Bunny's in SLP that my mate Chris introduced me to, where we've become regulars. Seriously, we always seem to get the same server and he now knows my drink of choice... last time he even noticed that I was rocking contacts instead of my usual glasses! Anyway, they have late night specials on their delicious wings and FREE taco bar!  Mmm, taco bar...

It's NPM Yo! part I

April is National Poetry Month - snazzy, I know. As I was considering a writing degree before settling on GD, I'm thought it'd be fun to share some poetry. Good stuff (and maybe some humorously bad stuff) found over my years of taking lit and writing classes (English geek? Yes, a bit). Maybe I'll even share some of my own...

First up, a couple war related poems.

Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,

Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs

And towards our distant rest began to trudge.

Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots

But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;

Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots

Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,

Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;

But someone still was yelling out and stumbling

And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...

Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,

As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,

He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,

His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood

Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,

Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, –

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.*

*translation: It is sweet and fitting to die for one's country.

Facing It by Yusef Komunyakaa

My black face fades,
hiding inside the black granite.
I said I wouldn't
dammit: No tears.
I'm stone. I'm flesh.
My clouded reflection eyes me
like a bird of prey, the profile of night
slanted against morning. I turnthis way – the stone let's me go.

I turn that way – I'm inside
the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
again, depending on the light
to make a difference.
I go down the 58,022 names,
half-expecting to find
my own in letters like smoke.
I touch the name Andrew Johnson;
I see the booby trap's white flash.
Names shimmer on a woman's blouse
but when she walks away
the names stay on the wall.

Brushstrokes flash, a red bird's
wings cutting across my stare.
The sky. A plane in the sky.
A white vet's image floats
closer to me then his pale eyes
look through mine. I'm a window.
He's lost his right arm
inside the stone. In the black mirror
a woman's trying to erase names:
No, she's brushing a boy's hair.

Plague of Indecision

Recently I went on a real, honest, plane-trip-required vacation to Las Vegas,NV. While there, my friends and I went on a self-guided tour of the Ethel M. Chocolate Factory.  It was founded 25 years ago by Forrest Mars Sr. who named the company after his dear mother, from whom he'd learned about quality chocolate-making in their family kitchen. They do their chocolatiering in small batches and their products are preservative free. And, if you are wondering, "chocolate + 'Mars' is that guy...?" Yes, he is that Mars of chocolate fame. But I digress...

While the tour was pretty boring - not much was happening that day, mostly packing - they did have a great little store and, being a chocolate lover, I went ahead and got a hand-picked selection of 12 chocolates for a mere $18. It sounds like a lot, but most of the chocolates in their cases were individually priced at $2/piece; once I counted no less than five that I absolutely had to try, the upgrade seemed the best choice.

Now I'm home and have gone through all but 5 chocolates:

Pecan Brittle

Key Lime Ganache (dark chocolate)

Coconut Delight (dark chocolate)

Sea Salted Caramel (milk chocolate)

Honey Truffle (dark chocolate)

I go to get a treat today and I cannot decide which one to eat! The remaining chocolates are some of my favorite flavors, thus why I've passed them over until now (best for last)! This I went to do 20 minutes ago and still haven't decided (although I've done other things that have taken up brain time). 

I can be horribly indecisive;I can stand/walk around in Target for 30 minutes comparing two things before making a choice. Why am I this way? I have no idea.  If someone wants to give me a free psych rundown, I'd love it. Seriously, unless I have a predetermined list, I should not be allowed to shop without someone there to force me to make a decision...

Shopping chaperone needed! 

Volunteer position. Please apply via e-mail. 

Multiple positions available.

Sin City, Here I Come!

In 1 day I'll be in Las Vegas! YEEEEEEE!!!!! :D  

I am so excited!  This will be the biggest vacation I've ever been on.  I've done a number of road trips to places in and around MN -  a weekend in Duluth, a 24 hour trip to Madison,WI for a concert - but have never had a real, air travel required, destination vacation before.  The closest has been when I participated in KCACTF in college and got to travel to St. Louis,MO and Denver,CO, but those were school related so I didn't get the opportunity to really experience those cities (I'd love to go back to Denver).

Monday morning, my friends and I will be on our way to Vegas!  I'm almost completely packed but for a few things I will use tomorrow and my yet-to-be-decided vacation read.  We're staying at New York, New York hotel, four days and three nights.  Thus far we have some loosely based plans; catch some free fountain shows and the Fremont Street Experience, gamble, shop, maybe some sex and blow, you know the usual thing. Hopefully we won't get roofied by the fourth, newer member of our party... 

Although maybe I ought to text "check the roof" to my fellow cohorts each evening...

I just checked weather.com to see what the climes will be for my stay on The Strip; the forecast is either "sunny" or "mostly sunny" with highs up 86 and lows at 55 degrees.  After the slushy downpour I drove in this last Tuesday, I could cum from the sheer giddy I feel at reading that forecast!

Stroking The Anemone

Questionable Content is my favorite online comic.  THIS recent strip is particularly hilarious because it deals with genital slang, which is always a fun topic!  I'll give you a minute to read the strip before continuing with my commentary... 

go ahead, don't be shy...it's some funny stuff...

OK, I'm totally with Faye on this one! I'm all for fun euphemisms and dirty talk, but that shit would turn me off too. Sea cucumber?!  Ew!  Have you seen a sea cucumber?! Cuz lemme tell you, it does not look like the friendly, green phallus you pick up at your local produce section...

California sea cucumber

See what I mean? I would not want one of those things near, let alone in my v-bag.  And speaking of lady bits, "fuzzy clam"?  Seriously, I know there are not as many euphemisms for the anatomical jewel that is the vulva as there are for the penis, but seriously, that's one we can do without thankyouverymuch.

So, what are your favored slang terms for your and the opposite sex's special fun bits? :)

More Creepy Than Sexy

Dear Bath & Body Works,

I would like to suggest that you rethink the subject line of your recent mass e-mail.  Frankly, "FREE Lip Offer!" brought to mind 'Hannibal Lector' and 'vulva' before landing on the possibility that you were touting your new "luscious" lip gloss*.  Seriously folks, semantics!  Look it up. It's rather important to marketing.

Best,

~K

*By the way something that bright pink and sparkly with a big ol' heart on the outside is not something I, nor anyone over the age of 12 (or with the mentality there of), would willingly carry around and wear.

Happy New Year!

 I'm definitely wanting and needing some changes this year. I've felt in the dumps for a while now, my motivation seems to be shite and I feel trapped in most aspects of my life - job, living situation, money, etc. I'm 27 and the world is supposed to be my oyster and instead I feel stuck in a freaking shell of what life is supposed to be!  Poo. The following is a list of general goals I have for the new year and beyond.

1. Get healthier/ lose weight - Also known as the annual resolution for myself and 85% of the population. I need to eat better and actually move my ass.  I'm considering investing in a food/fitness journal and calorie counter to start.  The exercise is especially difficult right now because I? am not an outdoorsy kinda gal to begin with and here in MN it is friggin' COLD and my room doesn't have the, well, room for me to do much. 

2. Read more (of the books I have) - I have shelves of books I have picked up over the years wanting to read that I still haven't gotten around to reading.  Even now I could name at least five titles I've been considering buying!  Note: this is one of the dangers of working in a books store; there is always something new and interesting.

3. Blog more - I've decided to make a 2nd blog strictly for my movie fixation and focus this one more on me.  I want to use this blog as it was originally intended; to get my thoughts and feelings out, be more open/vulnerable, think things out in writing instead of just in my crazy jumbled head so I can get others' thoughts and ideas on things and maybe even find some of the support I'm afraid to ask for.

4. Try a new wine every month - I don't know a whole bunch about wine other than I like it.  Every time I peruse the liquor store I see all sorts of wines that I'd like to try, either because I haven't tried that specific variety of wine before or the label/bottle looks cool and appealing (hey, I'm in graphic design, I notice and judge these things). In the end, I usually go with something I'm familiar with because I'm concerned I won't like it and will thus be wasting my money. Screw that, I'm trying new things this year!  AND I will blog about them! Mwa ha ha haa!  I have even started a list of wines I want to try in an app on my phone. :)

There we have it!  I may add more or adjust some things later, but I wanted to get this first blog of 2011 done and posted before the month (or my thoughts) got away from me.