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10 April, 2011

Plague of Indecision

Recently I went on a real, honest, plane-trip-required vacation to Las Vegas,NV. While there, my friends and I went on a self-guided tour of the Ethel M. Chocolate Factory.  It was founded 25 years ago by Forrest Mars Sr. who named the company after his dear mother, from whom he'd learned about quality chocolate-making in their family kitchen. They do their chocolatiering in small batches and their products are preservative free. And, if you are wondering, "chocolate + 'Mars' is that guy...?" Yes, he is that Mars of chocolate fame. But I digress...

While the tour was pretty boring - not much was happening that day, mostly packing - they did have a great little store and, being a chocolate lover, I went ahead and got a hand-picked selection of 12 chocolates for a mere $18. It sounds like a lot, but most of the chocolates in their cases were individually priced at $2/piece; once I counted no less than five that I absolutely had to try, the upgrade seemed the best choice.

Now I'm home and have gone through all but 5 chocolates:

Pecan Brittle
Key Lime Ganache (dark chocolate)
Coconut Delight (dark chocolate)
Sea Salted Caramel (milk chocolate)
Honey Truffle (dark chocolate)

I go to get a treat today and I cannot decide which one to eat! The remaining chocolates are some of my favorite flavors, thus why I've passed them over until now (best for last)! This I went to do 20 minutes ago and still haven't decided (although I've done other things that have taken up brain time). 

I can be horribly indecisive;I can stand/walk around in Target for 30 minutes comparing two things before making a choice. Why am I this way? I have no idea.  If someone wants to give me a free psych rundown, I'd love it. Seriously, unless I have a predetermined list, I should not be allowed to shop without someone there to force me to make a decision...

Shopping chaperone needed! 
Volunteer position. Please apply via e-mail. 
Multiple positions available.

26 March, 2011

Sin City, Here I Come!

In 1 day I'll be in Las Vegas! YEEEEEEE!!!!! :D  

I am so excited!  This will be the biggest vacation I've ever been on.  I've done a number of road trips to places in and around MN -  a weekend in Duluth, a 24 hour trip to Madison,WI for a concert - but have never had a real, air travel required, destination vacation before.  The closest has been when I participated in KCACTF in college and got to travel to St. Louis,MO and Denver,CO, but those were school related so I didn't get the opportunity to really experience those cities (I'd love to go back to Denver).


Monday morning, my friends and I will be on our way to Vegas!  I'm almost completely packed but for a few things I will use tomorrow and my yet-to-be-decided vacation read.  We're staying at New York, New York hotel, four days and three nights.  Thus far we have some loosely based plans; catch some free fountain shows and the Fremont Street Experience, gamble, shop, maybe some sex and blow, you know the usual thing. Hopefully we won't get roofied by the fourth, newer member of our party... 

Although maybe I ought to text "check the roof" to my fellow cohorts each evening...

I just checked weather.com to see what the climes will be for my stay on The Strip; the forecast is either "sunny" or "mostly sunny" with highs up 86 and lows at 55 degrees.  After the slushy downpour I drove in this last Tuesday, I could cum from the sheer giddy I feel at reading that forecast!





Stroking The Anemone

Questionable Content is my favorite online comic.  THIS recent strip is particularly hilarious because it deals with genital slang, which is always a fun topic!  I'll give you a minute to read the strip before continuing with my commentary... 


go ahead, don't be shy...it's some funny stuff...



OK, I'm totally with Faye on this one! I'm all for fun euphemisms and dirty talk, but that shit would turn me off too. Sea cucumber?!  Ew!  Have you seen a sea cucumber?! Cuz lemme tell you, it does not look like the friendly, green phallus you pick up at your local produce section...




See what I mean? I would not want one of those things near, let alone in my v-bag.  And speaking of lady bits, "fuzzy clam"?  Seriously, I know there are not as many euphemisms for the anatomical jewel that is the vulva as there are for the penis, but seriously, that's one we can do without thankyouverymuch.

So, what are your favored slang terms for your and the opposite sex's special fun bits? :)

10 March, 2011

More Creepy Than Sexy

Dear Bath & Body Works,

I would like to suggest that you rethink the subject line of your recent mass e-mail.  Frankly, "FREE Lip Offer!" brought to mind 'Hannibal Lector' and 'vulva' before landing on the possibility that you were touting your new "luscious" lip gloss*.  Seriously folks, semantics!  Look it up. It's rather important to marketing.

Best,
~K

*By the way something that bright pink and sparkly with a big ol' heart on the outside is not something I, nor anyone over the age of 12 (or with the mentality there of), would willingly carry around and wear.

08 January, 2011

Happy New Year!

 I'm definitely wanting and needing some changes this year. I've felt in the dumps for a while now, my motivation seems to be shite and I feel trapped in most aspects of my life - job, living situation, money, etc. I'm 27 and the world is supposed to be my oyster and instead I feel stuck in a freaking shell of what life is supposed to be!  Poo. The following is a list of general goals I have for the new year and beyond.

1. Get healthier/ lose weight - Also known as the annual resolution for myself and 85% of the population. I need to eat better and actually move my ass.  I'm considering investing in a food/fitness journal and calorie counter to start.  The exercise is especially difficult right now because I? am not an outdoorsy kinda gal to begin with and here in MN it is friggin' COLD and my room doesn't have the, well, room for me to do much. 
2. Read more (of the books I have) - I have shelves of books I have picked up over the years wanting to read that I still haven't gotten around to reading.  Even now I could name at least five titles I've been considering buying!  Note: this is one of the dangers of working in a books store; there is always something new and interesting.
3. Blog more - I've decided to make a 2nd blog strictly for my movie fixation and focus this one more on me.  I want to use this blog as it was originally intended; to get my thoughts and feelings out, be more open/vulnerable, think things out in writing instead of just in my crazy jumbled head so I can get others' thoughts and ideas on things and maybe even find some of the support I'm afraid to ask for.
4. Try a new wine every month - I don't know a whole bunch about wine other than I like it.  Every time I peruse the liquor store I see all sorts of wines that I'd like to try, either because I haven't tried that specific variety of wine before or the label/bottle looks cool and appealing (hey, I'm in graphic design, I notice and judge these things). In the end, I usually go with something I'm familiar with because I'm concerned I won't like it and will thus be wasting my money. Screw that, I'm trying new things this year!  AND I will blog about them! Mwa ha ha haa!  I have even started a list of wines I want to try in an app on my phone. :)

There we have it!  I may add more or adjust some things later, but I wanted to get this first blog of 2011 done and posted before the month (or my thoughts) got away from me.

03 January, 2011

New Year!

I enjoy this time of year for a couple reasons, but one of them is definitely because it is a small span of time in which I can say things like "I haven't seen you since last year!" which sounds like a long time even though it was last week. Hee hee hee!

19 November, 2010

Holy Movie Rumors Batman!

On October 13 Deadline.com broke the story that Christopher Nolan drafted Inception star Tom Hardy to join the Bat-team, likely to play a villain.  Now Deadline drops another pearl into the pot with the story that Christopher Nolan is narrowing his list of actresses to play two female lead roles in The Dark Knight Rises, his third installment in the Batfilm 'verse. Nolan always plays close to the chest, so he's keeping mum on the roles, but one role is to be a l<3ve interest for Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne, and the other (presumably) is a villain. The list includes: Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, Keira Knightley, Blake Lively, Natalie Portman, and Anne Hathaway. In typical fashion, I have to attack my thoughts on these prospects one at a time in my own list.

Rachel Weisz - This brunette British beauty is probably most well known for her role as the female protagonist, Evy, in the first two installments of the The Mummy films opposite Brendan Fraiser, but Weisz (pronounced "Vice") actually has quite the range of experience; she starred in Darren Aronofsky's period-jumping existential drama The Fountain, portrayed a manipulative art student in The Shape of Things, and, lest we forget, took home a little Oscar for her supporting role in The Constant Gardner opposite Ralph Fiennes.  She has the acting (and action) chops and is gorgeous in a fashion that would work well in the film noir style Nolan has been implementing in the films. She gets my approval.

Naomi Watts - She's definitely been in some great films with some top notch actors and directors; she was the starlet Ann Darrow in Peter Jackson's King Kong, another starlet in David Lynch's psychodrama Mulholland Dr., alongside Clive Owen in The International and opposite Viggo Mortenson's Russian mobster in Eastern Promises.  She's got quite a resume and is not a bad actress.  And yet, every time I hear her name, I mentally shrug and go 'meh'. She's just barely outside the realm of my "What's-Her-Blonde?" list of Hollywood actresses - typically "beautiful" blonde actresses that, while I may recognize their names, have never given a performance actually worthy of my memory space and by all appearances pretty interchangeable.  She's a little bit prettier than those girls though and has done some mentionable work.  She always strikes me as very fragile and her eyebrows always seem to give her a disturbed/annoyed countenance - neither are qualities that lend themselves to an attractive love interest or a sexy but psycho villain. She's kind of a poor-man's Nicole Kidman (of whom I'm no great fan either).  All of this makes me question what role she could possibly do well in this film. I won't be disappointed if she makes the film, but I won't look forward to is for her sake either.

Keira Knightley - Christ on a cracker you've gotta be kidding me! Please cinema Gods, NO! Sure she has action cred under her belt, but that's about it. Here are my arguments against this one: 1) She has the body of a boy! We all remember the to-do over the King Arthur movie poster where they had to add a bump to her front to make it look like she actually had cleavage. Sure, there's a bit there, but nothing that I want to see getting tapped by BW or in a catsuit that's for sure. 2) To my knowledge, she cannot perform an American dialect.  If she can, I doubt it's all that good. Finally 3) While she has the smokey eyes for a Cat Woman character, if I have to watch her all too usual this-is-me-acting-dramatic/angry jaw clench, I may start dry-heaving in the theater.

 

Blake Lively - This blonde bombshell is the relative newb on the list. Most notably she's starred in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies (I saw the first one; don't judge!), is a lead on tele show Gossip Girl (which I have never seen), and was recently seen opposite Jeremy Renner and Ben Affleck in The Town (which I still want to see). She's also already been tapped for another superhero movie, next year's Green Lantern opposite Ryan Reynolds (grrrowl).  Of the little I've seen of her work, she doesn't suck. And she's pretty hot, great smile, has a bod and great hair... so yeah, she gets my OK. But with her already slated for Green Lantern, she may not be set to film another comic movie.




Natalie Portman - Portman has always been touch and go in my book. I definitely did NOT like her performance in the new Star Wars trilogy - but that begs whether it was her or the poor script - and The Other Boleyn Girl was like a really well costumed soap opera .  I thought she did well, though not astonishingly, in Where the Heart Is (total chic flick), The Professional, and Closer. And, of course, I loved V for Vendetta (which shows she's not afraid to do some drastic stuff for her craft). She's also getting early buzz for her turn as an obsessive ballerina in Darren Aronofsky's upcoming Black Swan.  So acting wise, she could pull it off.  Here's my catch, she has a very distinct look and I'm not sure I can picture her in the world Nolan has already set.  But who knows, she could blow us all away.  Tentative approval.


Anne Hathaway - OK, in case you didn't know (and you should by now) I have a massive girl-crush on Ms Hathaway. First of all, she is a fantastic actress; sure she started out in Disney's The Princess Diaries, but she has since gone on to build a resume of good variety; Nicholas Nickelby, Havoc, Brokeback Mountain, The Devil Wears Prada, Becoming Jane, Bride Wars and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.  All are excellent films in their own right and cast her alongside many first-class actors. She even got an Oscar nom for her portrayl of a young woman released from rehab for her sister's wedding in Rachel Getting Married.  She can be seen now opposite her Brokeback costar Jake Gylenhaal in the romantic dramedy Love and Other Drugs.  The girl's got chops and she's smokin' hot to boot. Don't believe me? Check out her stipper pole dance in Bride Wars or just about any scene in Devil Wears Prada. And guys, if you just want to see her tits (and she has a great rack) check out Brokeback Mountain (just fast forward if you're too much of a pansy to watch man love).  With her creamy complexion, big brown eyes and awesome talent, she'd be great in any Nolan film, but especially this one. Yes, Hathaway definitely gets my gold star of approval.
Anne in Havoc