Pregnesia = Effing Creepy!

A co-worker friend sent me the link to a romance book review on a website called Smart Bitches, Trashy Books.

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/weblog/comments/pregnesia-by-carla-cassidy-guest-review/

First off, it must be said that the review had me ROFL with tears in my eyes! Sure, she's no pro at reviewing, it's real people lingo she uses, but it's freaking HILARIOUS!

Second, about the book being reviewed, I can only use her own wording to describe what went through my head when I read the title & description; "OMGWTFBBQ!!ELEVENTY!!" Seriously?! Pregnesia?! Of course, this book is from the geniuses over at Harlequin, who've been making reading women's hearts all twittery since 1949.

Working in a book store I see a lot of stuff go through that section. A LOT. In a genre that features vampires, werewolves, cowboys, NASCAR, time-traveling highlanders, angel-on-cursed-mermaid action, intergalactic were-cats and multiple-phalli satyr dudes - I ain't makin' this stuff up kids - the sub-genre I like to call "preggo romance" tops in creeping me the fuck out! Even touching it to shelve it gives me the heebyjeebies. Eew.

Where? Why? Seriously?! OK! I have an idea friends. We all have writing skills, I know it! Let's all get into a huddle, put some weird stuff into a few hats and write our own romance novel! Because if this crap can sell, I think we can make some serious bank! Wait...waitwait! I have GOT IT! OK, picture it with me here; a Regency era maiden is ruined by getting knocked up with a litter from an interstellar were-cat and her only chance at a new life is to follow a time-traveling Scottish Highland warrior into the future/present day where she then must choose between her super hot savior and the sexay vampire that's putting the moves on her (copyright K. Codling 2009)! It will sell MILLIONS!!!
FYI, that rant played out in my head like a Lewis Black monologue.

Alright, I think I'm done... for now.

AMUSING RELATED FACTOID: While looking on Wikipedia to see if I could find an founded date for Harlequin romance books, it, naturally directed me to the definition & origin of a harlequin. I perused to the bottom to see if I could find a related link to info about the publisher and instead found this gem; "Harlequin was a character in an Irish campaign for genital herpes awareness week"!!! LOL! FYI genital herpes awareness week seems to run around the last week of July into the first week of August.

Movies (the October edition)

Well since my September one went so well - I think I've seen one movie off that list - I figured I'd have another go at it :) So here, for you reading enjoyment is the list of movies (by release date) coming out this month that I'm interested in seeing. Maybe even with you!

10/2

The Invention of Lying - Ricky Gervais! Do I really need to say anything more? OK, fine! His new comedy based in a world where lying has never existed until one writer (Gervais) discovers it. Also stars Jason Bateman, Rob Lowe, Christopher Guest, Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey, Stephen Merchant, Stephanie March (Alex Cabot from Law & Order:SVU!), Jonah Hill...just go watch the trailer :) and then make a date with me to go see it!

Whip It - Ellen Page stars as Bliss Cavendar, an "indie-rock loving misfit" looking for a release from her mother's (Marcia Gay Harden) beauty pageants and the misery of her Texas small-town life. She finds this release in roller derby league in nearby Austin. Also starring Kristin Wiig, Eve, Juliette Lewis and Drew Barrymore, who is also making her directorial debut with this film. This flick looks like pure rockin' fun! I love Ellen Page and Drew rarely lets me down.

Zombieland - Yay zombies! Who doesn't find a touch of entertainment in the living dead? Here's a new one, by a new director, Ruben Fleischer. This one stars Jesse Eisenberg as a guy described as "the most frightened person on Earth" who musters the courage to lead a band of refugees, including Abigail Breslin, Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson as zombie killing cowboy, on a cross-country pilgrimage to an amusement park where they think they'll be safe.

10/9

An Education - A coming-of-age story. It's 1960's London and Jenny's (Carey Mulligan) life changed when a playboy nearly twice her age, David (Peter Sarsgaard) enters the picture. Also starring Alfred Molina, Dominic Cooper and Emma Thompson. Looks a bit intriguing and I love Emma Thompson.

Couples Retreat - Couple A (Jason Bateman & Kristen Bell) convince couples B, C & D (Vince Vaugn, Malin Ackerman, Jon Favreau, Kristin Davis, Faizon Love & Kali Hawke) to join them on a group rate to a tropical island couples retreat...however the other couples were unaware that the therapy part of the retreat is mandatory. Let the fun begin. Also features Jean Reno, Peter Serafinowicz and Ken Jeong (yes, the naked Chinese mob boss from The Hangover).

Trucker - "A semi-truck driver (Michelle Monaghan) tries to turn her carefree life around when she takes in her estranged 11-year-old son. Also starring Benjamin Bratt, Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy) and Nathan Fillion. I won't lie, my main if not only draw to this movie is Nathan Fillion :)

10/16

Where The Wild Things Are - Excuse me while I do my happy dance! *** OK, based on the AWESOME children's book by Maurice Sendak, Spike Jonze brings the beloved tale of a boys dream of escaping his unsatisfactory home and finding a family among an island of beasts to the screen in live action! Starring Max Records, Catherine Keener and featuring the voice talents of Catherine O'Hara, James Gandolfini, Lauren Ambrose, Paul Dano, Forest Whitaker and Chris Cooper. I MUST SEE THIS! And if possible, I will see it more than once! Seriously, one of my favorite books, I have even pondered getting a Wild Thing tattoo.

Law Abiding Citizen - Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is a man that's been failed by the legal system. From within his prison cell, he concocts a plan seeking revenge on the murderers of his wife and daughter as well as the prosecutor (Jaimie Foxx) and any one else responsible for the unjust deal. Also features Colm Meany, Leslie Bibb and Michael Gambon. Yeah, I love me some hot Scottish man. I also dig vigilante plot-lines.

10/23

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Based on a series of young adult books, Darren Shan is bored with his pretty, preppy little life. So when a traveling freak show comes to town, he joins on as the proprieter's (John C. Reilly) assistant...oh yeah, and the guy is a vampire and makes him one too! Also starring Selma Hayek, Patrick Fugit Ken Watanabe, Ray Stevenson and Willen Dafoe. It looks kinda campy, but it could be entertaining, I mean Selma Hayek as a bearded lady does hold a certain amusement appeal.

10/30

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day - *squeeee* Sequel to one of my favorite movies The Boondock Saints. The McManus brothers and father (Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flannery and Billy Connolly) return to Boston from Ireland to bring justice to Yakavetta (Judd Nelson) and his mob for framing them with the murder of their beloved priest. Also featuring Clifton Collins Jr, Peter Fonda and Julie Benz. I am ALL about this one!



Now I know you are thinking, 'But Kris, what about the dramatic, obviously meant for an Oscar nom bio-pic Amelia? Women's history girl, c'mon represent!' Nope. Not gonna happen. Why? Because of the shite casting. Not even the presents of the great Ewan McGregor and get me to see a movie starring Hilary 'Horse-face' Swank! She is a horse-faced, anorexic bodied hack of an "actress" and I will not be spending my hard earned money to supplement the movies she makes or encourage the furthering of her career.


Note: All the above dates are those as listed on imdb.com; in other words, if I'm wrong about these, it ain't my fault. :)

Fall Fun

Yay! It is fall (my tied-for-favorite season!) which means it is time to begin considering what fall activities I want to partake of *squee*. Here is my list...thus far

1.Go to the Minnesota Harvest apple orchard and pick apples and get apple butter and honey = NUM!
2. Visit the Minnesota Arboretum! I've never been to the arboretum and what better time of year than when all the colors are changing?!
3. Find my way through Sever's Corn Maze in Shakopee (this year's theme is PIRATES!)
4. Carve some wicked pumpkins for Halloween.
5. The Guthrie is performing The Important of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde, which is always a fun play. Tales From The Book of Longing and Faith Healer look interesting and, even though it is not until Nov, I really want to see A Christmas Carol again because Peter Michael Goetz is playing Scrooge.
6. Go to the science museum to see the Titanic exhibit.
7. Go to the HUGE Autumn Festival craft fair at Canterbury Park on November 12-15.
8. Go on some hikes in the nearby area now that it will start to get cooler out.
9. Make a trip over to the "local" Betty's Pies for food and PIE!!!
10.There are several movies coming out that I'm interesting in seeing (see previous post ... and the one after this too)
11.I want to do a cookie swap! I think the swap itself would probably be done closer to the winter holidays, but I wanted to put it out there now to see how many people would be interested :)
12. I would love to do see another hockey game, it doesn't even have to be during the autumn! I know this one is a bit unlikely due to my current finances, but still, a girl can dream can't she.

Effing Facebook

It's been TWO DAYS! Thursday after my walk & dinner with Jo, I returned home to log on to Facebook and update about the fun I'd had. Logged in like usual and was sent to the "e-mail/password invalid, please try again" screen. So I tried again...and again and again and again. I made sure CAPS was off, that I was spelling and typing everything correctly, nothing worked. Then I tried to reset my password at which time I was told my e-mail address was invalid!?! Thinking I'd been hacked or something I filled out a report and sent it on to facebook and got what must be a standard immediate response e-mail from them asking my to try resetting my password (tried AGAIN, nada) and then respond to that e-mail to verify the contact e-mail I gave them. Did that too. A couple hours later I got two e-mail notifications about having a comment on my wall and a message from a friend, but could I log in to get those? No! I'm getting notices about my account at the e-mail I keep getting told is invalid...WTF. It's been two days and not only has the problem not been fixed but I haven't even heard from "the facebook team"! Not even the courtesy of a status update/ "we're working on it" e-mail from them. Grrr.

At the same time, I am sitting here getting anxious and frustrated I'm also thinking how kinda pathetic it is that I feel so disconnected from my friends because I can't access a friggin website. I mean, I don't even have up-to-date e-mails for most of my friends! So I will be amending that for sure once this is figured out and I can contact most people again.

Movies (the September edition)

I'm a movie whore. I love watching 'em, comparing, critiquing, knowing the behind-the-scenes stuff, what & when they're coming out and who's in 'em. I love the variety; that I can find delight (or fault) in everything from a lame comedy to an award winning drama is awesome!

Now it is September, which means autumn is upon us and with it comes the Fall movie season! As the weather gets colder, it drives folks to more indoor activities (like going to the cinema) which means higher stakes to make bigger bank for the movie industry. Also, the award season is around the corner - and boy does the impending line up show it.

Thus, for your reading pleasure, here is the list, in order of release date, of films coming out this month that I want to see; from "kinda want" to "super really want". I've included synopses and links. Enjoy and, of course, let me know if you would want to see one with me because I love spending time with friends and having someone to chat about the movie with afterward (even better if said chatting occurs over pie!)

9/4
All About Steve - Sandra Bullock stars as Mary, a pretty, smart and eccentric crossword puzzler who is set up on a blind date with CNN cameraman Steve (The Hangover's Bradley Cooper) and the sparks fly...for Mary. When Steve is called away to work, Mary takes up the mission of following him and his crew across the country hoping to convince him that they belong together. This movie has three big things going for it: 1) I love Sandra Bullock comedies; that woman rocks! 2) Bradley Cooper (if you have not see The Hangover, you should) is HAWT! 3) I have a good friend named Steve making the title and premise 10x more amusing to me (right up there with the scene in Over The Hedge when Hammy the Squirrel suggests they name the hedge Steve "itsaprettyname!")

Carriers -Pandemic thriller starring Chris Pike (aka Capt Kirk in the recent Star Trek movie) and, oh look, guest spot by Christopher Meloni (of Law & Order:SVU). It looks like it could be an average pandemic and possibly zombie-esque thriller. Chris Pike has proved he's got some acting chops though. I think the thing that piques my interest is the societal downfall/ survival aspect. I nearly always enjoy seeing what a film or book does with dystopic or anti-utopia scenarios.

Extract - The latest comedy from Mike Judge (writer/director of Office Space), this time he takes the bosses side of things. Joel (Jason Bateman) is the owner of an extract plant and is having a myriad of business and personal problems. Also stars Mila Kunis, Ben Affleck, Kristen Wiig and J.K. Simmons. For starters I dig Judge's work. For seconds, Jason Bateman rocks my casbah. 'Nuff said.

Gamer - Gerard Butler is literally fighting a war for his life, the only problem is that he's not the one in control of his actions. As a death row inmate he is the living player in a game where others control his actions and whether he wins or loses and winning is what will get him out of prison back to his family. Let's see, what could Kris possibly love about this movie? Lots of decently done action sequences. Check. Anti-utopic plot line. Check! Michael C. Hall (from Six Feet Under and Dexter). Check! Gerard Butler (aka hot, talented Scottish actor). CHECK! I am ALL about this one!

9/9
9 - Originally an Academy Award nominated short, writer/director Shawn Acker has expanded his work into a full length animated wonder. Set in an apocalyptic future where humans are gone, nine rag dolls created by a scientist try to understand the world around them and why they were created while fighting the evils that surround them. You all know I love a good dystopic story. The animation looks tight! Featuring the voice talents of Elijah Wood, Crispin Glover, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer and Jennifer Connelly. Produced by Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted and -thank you Steve- the writer of Night Watch and Day Watch). The trailer alone makes me all tingly and giddy.

9/18
Pandorum - Sci-fi thriller starring Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster as astronauts who awake in hyper-sleep chambers with no memory of who they are or why they are here. As they explore their seemingly deserted space craft in search of any clue to their identities or their mission, the horrifying realization dawns that they are not alone. *gasp, shriek and all that* OK, it's been a while since I've seen a thriller/horror trailer that actually caught my interest; horror is general not my gig. The sci-fi/space factor got a hook in me though and with the movie featuring Norman Reedus (from The Boondock Saints) and giving Ben Foster a starring role, they can count me in. You see Ben Foster is one of the tops on my underrated actors list. He's attractive in a quirky kinda way and has excellent acting range. Whether he's a love sick teen (Get Over It), a violent young criminal (Hostage and Alpha Dogs), a mutant (X-Men: The Last Stand) or an outlaw cowboy alongside Russell Crowe (3:10 to Yuma) this guy has proved his chops. I've been watching him for a while now and love seeing where his career has led him.

9/25
The Boys Are Back - Joe Warr (Clive Owen) is a talented, witty and action-oriented sports writer who finds himself at a complete loss when his wife tragically dies leaving him to be a single father to two sons, a six-year-old and a teen from a previous marriage. "United by unspoken love, conflicted by fierce feelings and in search of a road forward, the three multi-generational boys of the Warr household, father and sons alike, must each find their own way, however tenuous, to grow up." (imdb.com) A dramatic and touching look at fatherhood, family, loss and everyday life. I love Clive Owen and am occasionally a sucker for a good touchy-feely flick.

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men - An anthropology grad student deals with her recent break-up by conducting interviews with various men. John Krasinski picked up the rights to this set of stories by David Foster Wallace with the first paycheck he got for his role on The Office. Krasinski adapted them to the screenplay, directs and even acts in what sounds like a sociologically interesting movie.

Fame - Revamp and update of the 1980's musical about students attending the New York Academy of Performing Arts. Featuring Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mullally and Bebe Neuwirth as the faculty and original cast member Debbie Allen as the principal. It's like a G-rated, teenage version Rent hahaha!

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell - Based on the book of the same title by Tucker Max, Max also wrote the screenplay and this is his synopsis from imdb.com: "Tucker decides to take an impromptu trip to celebrate his friend's bachelor party. He drags his friend into a lie with his fiancée, gets him into trouble and then abandons him in order to pursue a hilarious carnal interest. Tucker is disinvited to the wedding, and in order to get back in, Tucker has to find a way to balance his narcissism with the demands of friendship." Stars Matt Czuchry (Gilmore Girls and The Good Wife). It could be funny, it could suck...I haven't even read the book. *shrug*

Surrogates - Sci-fi flick based on a graphic novel, oooooh. In a future where humans remain isolated and safely experience the world through an idealized robotic "surrogates". But when people start dying while plugged into their surrogate, Detective Greer (Bruce Willis) must "unplug" and go out into the real world to find the murderer before all hell breaks loose; because, you know, that's what society does. This could turn out to be either really cool or...well, I won't name names, but we all know there have been some awesome sci-fi books/ graphic novels that have been turned into not-so-awesome movies.


I would also just like to say, about getting the trailers for these from imdb...I'm so friggin sick of those pre-trailer commercials for Haagen Dazs "Five" line that I may never eat their ice cream again. OK, I'm done :)

First Day Deja Vu

I have finally started back to school! After three stagnant years of just working at the Barne while it slowly shredded away at my soul like a cheese grater, I am at last taking steps to getting my BA and getting the fuck out of retail! For those who don't know, I am attending the Art Institutes International in downtown Minneapolis for their Graphic Design program. I'm only part-time for this quarter (yes, they work on a quarterly system, no summer breaks here kids) but I'm hoping that I handle it all well enough that maybe I can swing adding another class next quarter which would kick me up to FT status and hopefully get me more financial aid.

My classed run M & W from 8am -1:50pm; that's two 3 hour classes with 10 minutes between the two for travel time. Thankfully they have a couple 10-15 minute breaks interspersed and both teachers said they are play it a bit loose and have no problem cutting one break short to let class out early. First day was pretty typical. Did the whole let's-get-to-know-everyone deal in each class and then a general intro to the class and what we can expect this quarter.

I love my first class already; Fundamentals of Design. The teacher reminds me of my coworker Carey! He walks in to class wearing a Hawaiian shirt with turtles on it, a straw hat, loafers and a big white beard and I immediately thought, "Mr. Moss has a cousin?!" Plus he's full of stories; he's served in the Navy, played some hockey, and dabbled in theatre! He's also currently reading a book about Jim Henson and his Muppet shop, it looked awesome. He called role and when our name was called we had to introduce ourselves, where we were from, our chosen major and share an interesting story so people would remember us. I told people that I had been a British aristocrat, an indie rock star, a sexy cop and sexually assaulted and all while in front of an audience because I had previously chosen to study theatre. I didn't even give it much time, but the moment I said that last one, there was this second of "did she really just admit that" shocked silence...totally worth it :)

Computer Applications is my second class. The teacher seems nice, although a bit quiet. Also, being the computer illiterate that I am, I'm a bit more nervous about this class. I took a general computer graphics class my senior year of high school and that was about my last interaction with the likes of Photoshop and Power Point. I don't think I've dealt with the other applications we'll be learning ever. What's more, it's all on Macs and the last time I used one of those was...*thinking*...at Normandale when there were no other computers open in the lab. It's not that I don't like Macs (I've never really known enough to take a side on that debate), I'm simply not used to using them anymore so she said to do something basic and my brain went "derrrrr..." It'll take some getting used to. Thankfully one of my classmates had worked with them more recently and helped me through things and was kindly patient with my questions.

I'm looking forward to the months ahead. Also, I'm not going to lie, taking the bus and figuring my way around downtown makes me feel like a big city girl who's going places :) Luckily I didn't have work today after class because I was wiped. I will next week though, so that will be interesting. Honestly though, it feels good to be back in school, like putting on a once favorite shirt you have not worn in a while, comfy but a tad unfamiliar at first. Even if I feel a bit older than most of my classmates; lots of young, right out of high school freshman from around the midwest, smaller towns in Wisconsin and Iowa. C'est la vie.

Bunny Conspiracy part deux

I had not seen too many bunnies since my last post. And then I left for work this morning...



Look at them! THREE of them (one is hidden a bit under the bush on the left) just right on the partition outside in the car park outside me door.